


Life-Sized Ghosts

by softboystanley



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: HUGE TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE BE CAREFUL IF YOU DECIDE TO READ THIS, Im real sorry, Lowkey a vent, M/M, Suicide Attempt, bill has to save him, bill is god tier, blood is never mentioned but razor blades and cuts are described, for some reason, if thats a trigger for you please go read something happier, im sorry, stan takes his bath early, this is also a soulmate au, we love stenbrough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 20:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softboystanley/pseuds/softboystanley
Summary: Stan decides to take a bath 26 years early and it's up to Bill to save him.Soulmate AU: If your soulmate is in danger you get vision.





	Life-Sized Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry about this 
> 
>  
> 
> also the title is a song by Mt. Wolf called Life-Sized Ghosts i highly recommend it 
> 
> my next fic will be happier i promise

It had been a year since the oath was made, where they each had held each other's bloody hands in a circle and swore to come back. It had been an entire year since they had defeated Pennywise but Bill felt as if it was still there, lurking in the shadows, watching, waiting, for the right moment to return. It kept Bill up at night. Pennywise may have been vanquished but he was always in Bill’s thoughts. But on this particular night, other things kept him up. 

 

He had this feeling, somewhere deep inside of him, that something was wrong. Bill felt anxious but he didn’t know why. There was nothing wrong in his life. It was the end of August, he had no big events planned that he should have to worry for but there was this nagging in his mind, he didn’t know how to describe it.  _ Something’s wrong, Something’s wrong. SOMETHING’S WRONG.  _

 

His brain screamed and screamed that something was off. It made Bill want to rip his hairs out, the constant nagging, he couldn’t make it stop. But then, it happened. 

 

His vision flashed white, and the next thing he knew he was in a bathroom. He felt as if he wasn’t control of his movements, as if he was peeking in on someone else’s life. He saw a bathtub, being filled with water. His vision flashed again. He saw a neat stack of clothes on the floor and an unopened packet of razor blades on the rim of the tub. His vision flashed one final time and he saw a person, staring back at him in the mirror. It was Stan. Except he looked different. 

 

His hair was a mess, he was shirtless and tears flooded his eyes. For the first time Bill saw Stan’s forearms. There were many lines criss-crossing across Stan’s wrists. Bill saw Stan’s face, he saw  _ those scars _ . The jagged scars across the outside of his face, forever reminding poor Stan of the deadlights. Bill saw Stan glance back at the razor blades and inhale. 

 

Bill’s vision flashed and he was back in his room. He was stunned. Was that actually Stan? Or another anxious thought he was having. He scrambled out his bed and looked out of his window, where he had a perfect view of Stan’s house. All of the lights were off, except for one. Stan’s bathroom light. 

 

Bill wasted no time throwing on a pair of jeans and climbing out of his window. He snuck down the tree and ran across the road. Stan’s window was always open, because he liked to hear the birds sing in the morning. He hoisted himself into Stan’s room, which was on the ground floor, and he ran to the bathroom door. It was locked. 

 

“Stan! Stan! Stan, let me in! It’s Bill!” Bill pounded at the door. “Come on! Stan! Let me in! I just wanna help!” 

 

“You can’t help me!” Bill could hear that Stan was sobbing. 

 

“Yes, I can. Stan, I know you. I’m..I’m your best friend!” 

 

“You don’t know my pain, Bill! It wasn’t you who was so stupid that they ran away from the group and almost got killed. It wasn’t you who saw those lights Bill! It isn’t you who has to bare the scars!” 

 

“Stan! We’re all scared! You don’t know how many times I’ve stayed up at night thinking about.. About…. Thinking about Georgie.It was all my fault. We’ve all got pain on the inside. Just please! Let me in!” 

 

“But you all deal with it so well. And here I am. About to take the cowards way out.” 

 

Bill’s heart was breaking in two. “Stan, please.” Bill was done yelling, begging for Stan to open the door. He just wanted his best friend to be okay. 

 

“If...If I open the door….will you never tell anyone about….this?” Stan croaked. 

 

“Of course… just please… I wanna help you.” 

 

Bill heard the knob turn and the door opened to reveal Stan standing there. He was shaking and without wasting a moment Bill sprung forward and hugged him. He heard the razor blade clatter against the ground. Bill felt Stan shake violently in his arms. He felt Stan’s tears stain his shirt. 

 

“Stan, why… why would you…” Bill’s voice trailed off. 

 

“I just felt so weak, Bill. I couldn’t go into the house, I couldn’t accept that it was even real. For fuck’s sake I couldn’t even stay with you guys. I was the weak link.” 

 

“You weren’t a weak link, Stan. You were being you. Your perfect, logical, responsible self. And no one, no one, holds that against you. Do you understand?” 

 

Stan nodded. He was still shaking. 

 

“Stan. We all need help. I’m on sleeping medication just so I can get to sleep at night. If not I’d be up every single night worried about everyone. I’d be up at night thinking about you, or Richie, or Eddie, or Ben, or Bev, or Mike, or….” 

 

“Or?” 

 

“Georgie being alive. What if he’s out there, trapped all alone in the sewers.” Bill bit his lip. This wasn’t the time. 

 

“Anyways. It’s not just tough for you. It’s hard for all of us. If you ever need anything, and I mean fucking anything at all, a hand to hold, someone to be there with you all night long, I live right across the street.” 

 

Bill just realized that he was describing a boyfriend.  _ Did he want Stan to be his boyfriend? _ He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it from time to time. 

 

“Could you actually stay with me tonight?” Stan asked timidly. 

 

“I would have never left you alone on a night like this. Ever.” 

 

Bill made his way back to Stan’s bedroom, his arm over Stan’s shoulders, as if he was protecting him from everything bad in the world. 

 

Bill lead Stan to his bed and then began to lay out a blanket on the floor for himself. 

 

“You can sleep up here, if you want.” Stan offered, still shaken what had  _ almost _ happened.

 

“Is that what you want?” 

 

Stan nodded. 

 

Bill made his way over to the bed. He sat down opposite Stan. 

 

“It’s like a ghost. Even when it’s dead, it still feels as if it’s here.” Bill sighed. 

 

“A life sized ghost.” 

 

Bill smiled. “But you know what’s different about ghosts? They aren’t real. They can’t hurt the living. And that’s us.” 

 

“How’d you now that I was going to….” 

 

“I had like a vision. I don’t know. I saw you there. I just, it felt so real.” 

 

“I used to have those too. When you, Eddie and Richie went into the house I was having them. There was this voice screaming in my head. Telling me something was-” 

 

“Wrong. I had that too.”    

 

Bill looked into Stan’s eyes. He saw the fear that was still ever present but he saw with it, comfort. Stan looked happy. He smiled to Bill. 

 

“Maybe we're just meant to be.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated
> 
> im sorry, again.


End file.
